Poor Jack looked devestated when he realised his poop that he was obviously holding had fallen out. Mummy shared in the emotion as Jack had no nappy on and was on the sofa at the time. Still I put on my best Mary Poppins voice and dunked him in the shower, telling a crying toddler with poo all over himself that it was okay and that he needed to shout POO POO! Mike is in the other room with a look of horror trying to scrape clay like poop off our armchair! A squeaky clean Jack runs through, looks intently into his empty potty and announces ‘oh dear!’. This potty training thing is going to take a while!
I am exhausted. I mean ALWAYS tired, I wake up and I am tired, I am tired throughout the day and I go to bed shattered. I wonder if this is my genetic makeup – my Grandmother has always struggled to rise before 11am but then is a busy bee until bed. I always feel half empty, the morning is not my time, nor the afternoon nor the evening. I am sure I have a peak 15 minutes somewhere in the day when I am good to go but it goes as quickly as it comes.
I read an article in a magazine this week about a woman who was actually dehydrated through tiredness. I began to question. I made a list of how much I drink in a day and it came out as this: several sips of water in the morning, a coke at lunch for energy and a glass of wine when my toddler goes to bed in the evening. Slap wrist for me, even I can see that that isn’t the most inspiring list.
So this week I have set myself a water challenge, I aim to drink 2 litres of water every day and after that it is fair game for what I can drink (sadly I have run out of wine!). The last 2 days have been a bit of a chore, I struggle to remember to drink and my 2 year old now has better bladder control than I do! I was up at least 3 times last night needing a wee and there was one moment mid jumping jack in my zumba class when I didn’t think I was going to make it to the end of the track! Day 3 though and my body seems to be adjusting, the slight headache has gone and I am not needing to wee quite so much!
The lady in the article looked visibly better after a few weeks and nowhere near as tired, the bags and the dark circles had vanished. I have to say I was a little disappointed not to wake up this morning with youthful plumpness in my skin but I guess one has to be patient for that!
I feel fresher, I feel healthier but I also feel like a water cooler so am hoping that will wear off! Watch this space for a bouncier, energetic, youthful mamma! :)
Must stop giving running commentary when I am out! caught a woman laughing at me when I dived over to the dvds with an audible ‘oooooooooooooooooooooooh’ in Sainsburys. ‘Look Jack The Little Mermaid!’ I gushed! ‘Okay its more for mummy that for you i know, blah blah blah!’. Must talk in my head more!
We arrived at the wedding venue a full 20 hours before the wedding ceremony complete with a first readybed, an entire farm of plastic animals, 3 teddys and 3 plastic cars (note to self – ratio of animals to cars completely wrong for my 2 year old – next time pack at least 20 cars and move into hotel at least a week before the wedding takes place thus allowing for several trips back and forth to our flat!). I also had the most wonderful brain wave about bedtime to ensure a most relaxing start to the day on the ‘BIG’ day. Jack goes to bed at 7pm therefore if I kept him up until 10pm – 3 hours later than his actual bedtime then of course he would wake up 3 hours later past his usual 5am start time in the morning! This highly scientific study has proved conclusively that (pardon my language) is complete and utter bollocks!!! It makes NO difference WHATSOEVER! Son went to bed at 10pm and then as if someone were flicking a light switch on, his internal alarm clock went off at 5am on wedding day and he was good to go. Words cannot describe the look of horror on my face and my wonderful husband, realising that wife was simply not able to cope with this revelation, dressed both himself and Jack and went for a walk to the local Tesco store at 5.30am in the morning during a horrendous downpour giving horrified and cranky wife an extra hour and a half in bed. Angel!
To say I was on edge throughout the morning was a bit of an understatement. Hair and makeup were the least of my worries, my first concern was how to convince toddler to take his nap an hour early so he would be awake in time for the ceremony so my brilliant plan of sleeping actually did turn out to be brilliant, by 11am Jack was exhausted as he had missed out on at least 2 hours sleep and snuggled himself down nicely with teddy in his Thomas the Tank bed. By this point I had had my hair styled and was pinned to within an inch of my life, I tried to nap myself but the combination of several pins embedding themselves into my scalp and getting pins and needles in my arm trying to protect several curls from dropping out led me to give up and in the absence of anything else interesting to do, I went to the loo. Needless to say I was less than pleased when housekeeping decided to let themselves into the room with Jack fast asleep and me quite literally with my knickers around my ankles – at this point I realised I was going to have one of those crummy mummy days!
During the next hour and a half I took the time to do my makeup and ask my Mother to help shoe horn me into my dress and seriously she was one step away from putting one foot on my backside and pulling the laces on the dress as tight as they could go. By the time she was done and I was in the dress I wondered how I was actually going to breathe and switched from my sparkly heels into a more practical gold slip on shoe – my thinking being to protect my ankles for when I passed out through lack of oxygen later on.
I waddled back through into my own hotel room where a sleeping Jack was being looked after by my Dad. I threw open the curtains, turned cbeebies on and screeched ‘Darling!’ to my sleeping cherub ‘Time to get uuuup!’. My toddler who normally doesn’t like sleep opened one eye and then closed it. Shit. I looked at the clock, Jack was due to be downstairs in 15 MINUTES. I turned up cbeebies, ‘Jack look its Mr Bloom!’. Another eye open. Jack looks at me disapprovingly, grabs his teddy and turns away from me putting his bum in my face. Double shit. I then proceed to take the clothes off a floppy and uninterested child all the while panicking that my dress laces were going to pop open and watching the clock as the minutes disappeared. ‘Please Jack!’ I wail with my Mary Poppins cheerfulness turning more into shrill panic. Jack sits up for a moment and smiles gently then say ‘no’ very quietly ‘night night’ and then flops back on the bed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! At this point my wonderful parents arrive and offer to take over while I meet the bride and my hubby downstairs to start the ceremony.
Son arrives downstairs 15 minutes after that all prepped and ready to go for the wedding. Now let the fun begin….. this was the bit that I had been dreading. Of course not to watch my lovely sister in law and brother in law tie the knot but praying and hoping against all hope that my 2 year old was going to play ball. I was to walk Jack and another little boy closer to the age of three down the aisle. The door opened, I took both boys and held my breath. The whole time chatting to them and willing them both to make it to the front of the room without incident. Of course I hand’t even considered the other page boy and just over half way down the aisle he decided he was going to take a fake trip and literally dived onto the floor! My jaw hit the floor as I hadn’t prepared myself for this eventuality, the guests of course saw the funny side and my clever Mum had chosen an aisle seat so scooped little Jaidee up on my behalf (remember I am popping out of my dress still!) and we made it to the front! Phew!
The experienced registrar was clearly very knowledgable about young children and so took the time to obtain teddy from my parents so thankfully Jack and teddy were reunited and Jack sat sucking on his best friends ear for a good half of the ceremony. However half way though the vows he saw fit to remove teddy and announce ‘OH NO!!!!’ to the room! Again the guests giggled and I blushed and smiled hoping that was going to be the end of his outbursts! Other than a minor crying moment when all the guests clapped (he wasn’t prepared for the noise and he got spooked) and when he decided that he and Daddy shouldn’t be wearing flower button holes and removed them by force. He was then content to ‘feed’ the petals to his teddy making quiet ‘num num num’ sounds.
To get him through the photos we used cookies and toy cars as bribery and for the meal he was content to work the room rather than sit and eat much although even Jack couldn’t resist the lure of chicken goujons and chips! He gave his own speech from the top table announcing that he ‘likes dancing!’ as he boogied to the dj’s background music and that he ‘likes tractor’ upon receiving a beautiful engraved tractor from his Auntie and Uncle. He was set for the disco and was first on the dance floor!
My parents were also guests at the wedding and were also staying the night so they kindly offered to let Jack sleep in their room so we could stay out a little later (we made it to 11pm before we conked out!). All in all I was so proud of Jack, at 2 it was a massive day for him and he handled it in true Jack style! A brilliant and beautiful day and we are so blessed to have been a part of it. As the groom said in his speech to the page boys Jack and Jaidee, ‘thankyou for making it memorable’ which was received with giggles and smiles. Love you little man <3
I got on the scales 3 days ago and another 3lbs off making it 10lbs so far! I am now 20lbs away from my pre-baby body! AND I got into my bridesmaid dress yesterday AND I made it through the ceremony without passing out! My Mother was kind enough to mention that I have a lovely figure after she had tied me into my dress and completed it with a knot enviable to the most experienced Scout or sailor! Of course I was squashed so well into my fitted satin outfit that I am not sure whose figure I had managed to be shaped into to but I have to say I liked it and felt a bit like Bridget Bardot for the day! :)
And here I am! Post ceremony and feeling a little tuckered but I loved being a bridesmaid and was very honoured indeed!
Well following my inch loss on my waist I plucked up the courage to get onto the scales, this always makes me very nervous and I have a rule that I am only allowed to weigh myself every 3 weeks so I don’t get obsessed with it. I took Jack and filled his little pram tray up with cheerios and raisins to keep him occupied. I took a deep breath and stood on the scales (after removing as much as I could from my person that is acceptable in society!!!), breathe in, think small and stand tall. My eyes peer down at the read out – 7lbs OFF! Wooo hoooo! 20lbs to go! :)
UPDATE TIME! 1 week and (drum roll please!), 1 INCH off that waist! My new waist management workout I have set myself is doing the trick! 15 minutes 3 times per week. I am eating the same and doing my usual 2 zumba classes but an inch has GONE! Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Now to keep at it!